When God sends lemons

Bearing in mind the saying, "When God sends you lemons, make lemonade," I've begun to record some of the more interesting subject lines of the spam I receive on my Yahoo account. I'm intrigued by the possibility of incorporating the unique word combinations into a novel or some other piece of fiction writing. It would make a great dare for someone participating in National Novel Writing Month.

This morning's contribution to my list was "rejuvenation scornfully" sent by one Gilbert L. Tillman. Other names and subjects that have piqued my interest:

Bert Mcknight: gangland menorah
Ivey Frida: local anesthetic foul
Cruz E. Mirabel: homicide bulldozer
Glover L. Rudolf: high chair commemoration
Chris Andrews: nonconformist clutches
Pius: abdication variation

My off-the cuff imagined manner of using them:

This morning's mail brought a letter from the oldest member of my law firm, Gilbert L. Tillman. He derided my suggestions for improvement and dismissed all my suggestions for rejuvenation scornfully.

He had plenty of his own suggestions, however, including contacting Glover L. Rudolf about his planned high chair commemoration as a public relations stunt designed to appeal to families with young children. He expressed his opinion that the firm should capitalize on the increasing name recognition associated with the defense of Cruz E. Mirabel and his homicide bulldozer case.

He also believed the suit Ivey Frida was bringing against the Chicago Cubs for the local anesthetic foul ball that knocked her out at the beginning of the ninth inning during the last home game would be extremely lucrative for the firm.

But I really began to doubt his wisdom when he began attacks of a religious nature against other partners that he felt are negatively impacting the firm's public image. Bert Mcknight was criticized for displaying his gangland menorah, presented to him by former members of the Vicelords. Tillman encouraged me to stay out of the nonconformist clutches of Chris Andrews, who had recently spent an entire coffee break discussing the abdication variation of Pope Pius II.

And that, my friends, is how I imagine someone would begin to make lemonade out of the spam lemons on Yahoo.