Matthew's Stitches

Matthew Two had a lot of stitches yesterday.

It probably hurt him more than it hurt me; in fact, I rather enjoyed sewing up his obvious gaps. He's going to need just a few more soon, but then he will be ready for his high energy diet and strength training.

He will soon be fit enough to travel!

And the joy is back in Matthew-ville!

Pondering Potted Plants

The cute miniature rose in a small patriotic pot on my kitchen table is dying.

I've been watering it, although I admit somewhat sporadically. This morning I read that one is supposed to cut it back one third after flowering, so I cut off the dead blossoms. It looks really bad now.

I have another plant that I'm trying to keep alive. I water it, quite faithfully, but it continues to drop leaves randomly on the kitchen floor. I put the basket containing the plant on the kitchen floor because I figured it was safer. The basket was previously on a table in the living room, and I hadn't realized water had overflowed the plate under the basket until I found wet magazines and books on the table.

The already-damaged wood top of the table now has warped strips that bulge up from the surface.

I'm not very good at taking care of plants. I wish people wouldn't give them to me. I feel a rather hopeless obligation to try to keep them alive, which detracts from any enjoyment I might receive from the plant.

It seems that I expend enough energy on family and friends that the care of my little dog, Libby, stretches my levels to the limit without throwing potted plants into the mix.

Matthew: Looking Good

My "book boy" (thanks, Grace) Matthew really took in some calories yesterday. I spent some hours writing at a coffee shop while Libby was at the vets for her grooming appointment.

By the afternoon, I was pleased with the way both Matthew and Libby looked.

I sent an update to the acquisitions director yesterday morning and she replied in the afternoon. She very much appreciated the update and encouraged me not only to keep providing updates, but also to keep working on Matthew.

She did tell me, however, that her company is coming out with a series for boys and another for girls in 2010. The soonest Matthew might be published would be 2011, which would mean making an acquisitions decision early in 2010. She promised that Matthew would remain on her "postive" stack.

I am very encouraged by her intention to keep him under consideration, her specific request for continued communication, and her personal encouragement to me.

As she pointed out in her email to me, this timing is very likely the best. It will give more time for revision than I had anticipated and relieves some of the pressure I'd been feeling. It's great to know some specifics about the publisher's plans.

Please join me in praying that Matthew will gain weight and coordination, that the publishing door will remain open into 2010, and that he will be invited to walk through it. I pray, too, that the writing will be excellent, that sales will justify the publisher's investment, that hearts will be touched, and that every step of Matthew's way will honor God.

Fifth Grade Year

This is my fifth grade year.

If I've counted back on my fingers correctly, the year I actually spent in fifth grade spanned the fall of 1964 and the spring of 1965. Wow! That was a long time ago!

I sat in the far corner of the classroom, where the desks of several girls surrounded that of a popular boy named Jerry. Our teacher, Mr. Klyn, liked to make little jokes about "Jerry's corner." I remember that "corner" as a lively, but well-behaved group. Since the seating arrangement remained that way long enough to impress itself upon my mind as the standard for my fifth grade year, I'm guessing our teacher viewed it the same way.

I've been revisiting fifth grade since the first of this year when I began concentrating on my novel about a fifth grader named Matthew. The one novel I began nearly two years ago, by writing over 50,000 words in the one month craziness of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), has morphed into my current series of four juvenile fiction novels.

In January, I decided this year I would try to get my Matthew novel to the point of seeking publication. I began expanding the manuscript and fleshing out the plot.

At the end of January, I registered for a mentoring retreat and signed up for time with the acquisitions director for the children and family section of a well-known Christian publishing house.

In February and March, I worked hard on the manuscript. Several plot elements remained elusive until the end of March, when I nailed down the time for the setting. The plot problems fell into place.

Early in April, I sent a query letter, book proposal, synopsis, and the first two chapters of the manuscript to the acquisitions director. We met the third week of April. During our first day of meetings, she asked me to come up with a plan for a series. On our second day of meetings, I presented my plan (which she liked) and she expressed her desire to work with me.

I returned home on April 18. I wrote a platform description for her, divided the manuscript into four parts, and began expanding and energizing the first novel.

On May 12, I sent the acquisitions director a revised proposal (reflecting the four book series plan) and the completed manuscript for "Matthew One": Matthew Muddles Through.

Near the end of May, I read the first three chapters from the first book in the series to the fifth graders at Pella Christian Grade School. They listened intently during the reading and afterward asked great questions like: "How much does the book cost?" and "Can you tell us what's wrong with the mother?"

In June, the acquisitions director informed me that she had read part of the revised manuscript and liked the changes. Her intern had read the entire manuscript and put it on the director's "to read" stack. But the director was busy with other projects this summer and it would be some time before she could get back to me. I continued working on "Matthew Two": Matthew Makes Strides.

During the first part of July, I was asked to write the fifth grade volume of a catechism curriculum project for grades 5-12. The request seemed providential.

I believe God intends this to be my "Fifth Grade Year."

Matthew Two update

I'd like to thank readers for their prayers and expressions of concern. Last week I was able to write the article I needed to write, as well as write two catechism lessons.

Yesterday I was able to write the articles and do the layout for the Seminary's newsletter.

Today I am trying to put some weight on Matthew Two, but I am trying primarily to shape him up and increase muscle tone. He's is pretty sad shape right now and needs an intensive exercise program.

Flaming Arrows

My FaceBook friend Gideon Strauss (whose fb profile pic reminds me of my oldest son, Seth) has recently posted quotations from Twyla Tharp's book, The Creative Habit.

The pithy quotes seemed so specifically designed for me at this point in my life that I ordered the book. It arrived in my mailbox yesterday where I found it when I drove home to "drain the dog" during the afternoon break of Classis Central US of the URCNA (which was meeting at Covenant Reformed Church about five minutes from my home).

This morning I could easily follow many rabbit trails: I could write about how providential it was and how thankful I still am for Classis being held so close to my home this week. I could write about my reflections on a sometimes very emotional Classis meeting that saw two men sustain examinations (but I am already writing about that for Christian Renewal). I could write about the demands of dogs, but also their rewards and the many ways Libby actually facilitates my writing process. I could write about how Tharp emphasizes ritual in beginning the creative day and how that fits with my practice of prayer in the early morning time I call "the votive silence."

But I will do none of those things this morning. Instead I will tell my readers why Tharp's book is timely and I will post a highly personal plea for prayer.

Tharp's advice is timely because this summer has been very difficult for me. Creative energy has been at an all-time low; random distractions have been at an all-time high.

My personal prayer request is that you would join me in praying for good health, a peaceful spirit, and the ability to function creatively and do with excellence the work God has placed before me.

If the Lord leads you to pray, I would appreciate it. And I would appreciate knowing that you're praying.

I rarely use the language of spiritual warfare, but the distractions that have pulled me from my regular schedule and the creative process have been of such a nature that they accurately can be discribed only as the flaming arrows of spiritual warfare.

I have been plagued by electrical and computer problems during my most creative morning hours. Family and health concerns have crowded out creativity. My work on the second volume in the juvenile fiction series I am writing about Matthew has not been going well. Aside from two days of creative energy in June, there has been no joy in Matthew-ville.

There has been no joy in my work for Christian Renewal. There has been no joy in my work on Mid-America's Messenger. There has been no joy in my work on Precious Oil, the newsletter for churches of Classis Central. There has been no joy in my book on infant loss, which sits stone cold on the farthest back burner. There has been no joy in previewing prayer stories for an editor. There has been no joy in the ever-increasing amount of work hanging over my head as church librarian.

There was a glimmer of joy when I recently was asked to write the fifth grade volume of the "Life in Christ" catechism curriculum. Surely if the Lord was providing this opportunity He would equip me to the task! Surely He would sustain my health and provide the necessary time and creative impetus!

I charted the work to be done into the available time frame and came up with what seemed a viable schedule: 25 pages in Matthew manuscripts and one or two lessons in the catechism curriculum per week. My schedule factored in two weeks for editing each novel and allowed four weeks leeway between my self-imposed deadline and the catechism project deadline.

The past two days at Classis Cetnral brought a glimmer of joy when I met old and new friends. Surely God intends for me to continue doing this work for Him! Surely He will provide the words to write an accurate and interesting report!

I began writing the report last evening and it was going well, but...I was distracted. I began to think about the fact that spending two days at Classis had put me behind on my Matthew schedule. I began to think about pain. I began to feel a bit panicky. The flames intensified on the flying arrows.

I don't believe I am such a crucial cog in the Lord's kingdom that the forces of evil have targeted only me, but I do believe God has work for me to do. And I believe it must be work that might accomplish good. Because one thing I've learned in my lengthening life is that the more potential for good in a work, the more it comes under attack from the evil one.

Feeling as if I'm being attacked by flaming arrows reminds me of the "Armor of God" section found in Ephesians 6:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

This passage reminds believers that not all our enemies are visible; that some of our struggles are against "the powers of this dark world" and "the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." It also mentions what I feel I've been the target of: the "flaming arrows of the evil one."

It also reminds us to stay in God's Word and remain steadfast in prayer, including prayer "for all the saints." And that is why I dare request your prayer.

When feeling like the target of the enemy's flaming arrows, it's good to read Psalm 7, a prayer for justice and deliverance, which begins:

O LORD my God, I take refuge in you;
save and deliver me from all who pursue me,
or they will tear me like a lion
and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.

The Psalmist pleads:

Arise, O LORD, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice.

O righteous God,
who searches minds and hearts,
bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure.

The Psalmist then confesses:

My shield is God Most High,
who saves the upright in heart.
God is a righteous judge,
a God who expresses his wrath every day.
If he does not relent,
he will sharpen his sword;
he will bend and string his bow.
He has prepared his deadly weapons;
he makes ready his flaming arrows.

God is the shield who saves the upright; He is a righteous judge who does not relent against evil. He sharpens His sword, prepares His deadly weapons, and makes ready His flaming arrows.

So whose arrows are they anyway? It's proper, like the Ephesians passage, to speak of them as the "flaming arrows of the evil one." But the book of Job is a vivid reminder that the evil one does nothing without God's permission. God allows him to fire the flaming arrows.

And God is the ultimate archer. His flaming arrows will scorch the wicked and deliver the righteous.

With the Psalmist, I can say:

I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness
and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.

Cottonwood Snow

This is how our front lawn looks this time of year when the cottonwoods shed seed in fluffy puffs that float through the air, roll into billowed pillows, and drift across the grass.

Dirge into Doxology

I admit there are times when I need to work at turning dirge into doxology by changing negative thoughts into positive praise.

By nature I am inclined to be a "glass half-empty" person, and circumstances often create chronic negative thinking patterns.

Being outside and seeing the beauty of God's creation helps turn my thoughts inside out.

The first verse of Psalm 103 sings in my mind and my spirit soars:

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!

The next four verses are meaingful as well as effective for turning dirge into doxology:

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Our minister echoes those words after the partaking of the elements when we participate in communion with the Lord and His people during the Lord's Supper. The sacrament refocuses my thoughts from my trivial problems to my great Savior. Hearing God's Word proclaimed during worship fills my soul with peace and praise.

I try to maintain an attitude of praise during the week through actively changing thinking patterns by praying praise. Revelation 4:11 is one of my favorite prayers:

Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.

One of the best antidotes for negative thinking is to read Romans 8. The whole chapter is magnificent and its "more than conquerors" conclusion is a glorious doxology. At times, however, I find its entirety elusive.

When my spirit groans and I see only groaning in creation, I remind myself that "the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us" (verse 18).

Then my dirge turns to doxology.