Mind Control

On this soggy morning, I'm working hard on mind control.

Which is to say, I'm trying to control my mind's view of routine things in my life.

I'm thinking about things I like: getting work accomplished, spending time with family, and spending time with God. And I'm thinking about things I don't like: spinning my wheels in my work, wasting time, and stress.

Sometimes it seems that the more stress I have, the more time I spend spinning my wheels. And the more time I spend spinning my wheels, the more hopeless I feel and the more time I waste. And the more hopeless I feel and the more time I waste, the more impossible my deadlines become and the more stress I have.

I'm thinking that I need to control not only the things I do, but also the way I view them. I want to enjoy my work. I'd like to feel thankful for each well-crafted sentence rather than panicking about pressing deadlines for huge projects.

I'm thinking that if one project isn't going well, I need to work on another. I need to take Elisabeth's Elliot's sage advice to "do the next thing." And while I'm doing those things, I need to think about how much I enjoy what I do.

I need to take every thought captive. I need to take control of my mind and think of each moment as a gift from God.

Looking Up

On most days, I take our little Yorkypoo Layla outside five or six times. She is very good about doing her business quickly and it generally only takes about five minutes, so it takes very little time from my work. And it is good for my mind and my body to take an occasional break from my computer and chair.

Sometimes I "run" up and down the driveway a few times with Libby. And I am using the word "run" here to mean "plod and stumble clumsily at a slighty faster pace than walking." With arthritic knees, my running is not pretty.

When I "run" or go for walks with Libby, I find that I nearly always look down and think. I see grass and weeds springing up in the cracks of the driveway.

But my favorite time to take out Libby is early morning, just before dawn. On some summer mornings, the sky is a blend of pink, gold, and blue in a beautiful and soft color that defies description.

On those mornings, like this morning, I look up.

And I am reminded that I spend far too much of my life looking down. I realize how often I focus on the cracks and weeds, instead of looking up to behold breathtaking beauty.

May God grant you and me the ability to keep looking up!

A Sad Day and a Glad Day

Today is a very sad day. Today my parents and my older sister and I will move my younger sister to the dementia unit of a nursing home.

My younger sister has Down Syndrome. She was a sweet little sister with a cheerful spirit and a cooperative disposition. It was difficult for her to frame her limited vocabulary, but she could rattle off the birthdays and ages of anyone in the family. Even when her siblings married and had children, she knew the birthdays and ages of every family member better than I did!

With medical advances, Down Syndrome folks are living longer than in the past. And as they live longer, it's becoming apparent that many of them struggle with early onset of Alzheimer's disease. Sadly, my sweet sister is one of those.

She was living in a group home where the staff made every effort to cope with her steadily increasing symptoms over the last few years, but this week she began wandering. One night she was found in the backyard. One afternoon she was in the neighbor's flower bed, trying to pick flowers. She left the house multiple times each day, in spite of alarms on the doors. She didn't stop or look before crossing a busy street, and staff members had all they could do to catch her in time. It became obvious to staff and family that the group home living situation was no longer viable.

And so, today we move her to a nursing home. It's a very sad day for all of us. We know she will not understand and will not be happy. It is very difficult for my mother. How many mothers have to bring their daughters to a nursing home? My heart aches for her. And my heart aches for my sister.

Remembering my sister's previous compliant spirit seems to make it more difficult because there is such a radical difference between her normal personality and her current personality.

I eagerly anticipate the day when her body and mind will be not merely restored, but perfectly renewed.

I cling to the promise of 1 Corinthians 15:42-49:

So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. Thus it is written, "The first man Adam became a living being"; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit. But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual. The first man was from the earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven. As was the man of dust, so also are those who are of the dust, and as is the man of heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.

As I help move my sister today and try to help my family deal with her distress and our own, I will remember not only her former cheerful and compliant spirit, but also that her body and mind will one day be made perfect.

Then she and I will sit down and have a good talk. What a glad day that will be!

Surprise!

This is one of the surprise lilies blooming in our yard. I don't even remember planting them, but they recently popped up in front of my office window, randomly spaced in our west bank, and along the driveway.

They're called surprise lilies because one doesn't notice the leaves early in the spring, which wilt and disappear. Several weeks later, the long stem shoots out of the ground and the blossoms appear.

These blossoms are the only current color in our weedy west bank and the weedy ravine along our driveway. While I was taking pictures this morning, I thought about how their sudden appearance is a lot like God's grace in our lives. We see nothing but the weeds of struggles and trials, but suddenly a blossom of grace bursts into bloom.

Interestingly, one of the many names for this lily (Lycoris) is resurrection lily. That seems an appropriate name for a flower that so beautifully demonstrates God's grace.

Matthew Two Finished!

My "book boy" (thanks, Grace), Matthew Two, is finished! He may benefit from more polishing, but I'm sending him off to the Windy City today with prayers for his success.

I probably won't hear anything about him until after the first of the year because he isn't scheduled to audition until then, but at least he'll be in place if the audition is moved up. I hope (the good Lord willing) to send his brother, Matthew Three, and his other brother, Matthew Four, off to join him and Matthew One before the end of the year.

He's a little heavier than Matthew One, but they're nearly the same size. Matthew One may still put on a few pounds. I'm eager to see what happens to my book boys in 2010!